Sunday, June 27, 2010

Church adventures

We go to Jubilee! in Asheville. It's a community of faith as diverse as the congregation. Today the sermon was on faith. The readings from the bible evoked Job and Moses. I was distracted when Howard read from the Tao, but that reading dealt with faith as well. I've been dealing with my mortality as I approach the year 60 mark with questionable health. Raising our granddaughter brings that into focus. Should I simply have faith that what will be will be or shall I put this issue in the hand of the Divine One I believe in and let them worry about the problem. I question that. A lot. I worry about my bipolar daughter a lot too. Will she ever have an income to sustain her, especially when I'm gone? Will she ever connect with her daughter who ardors her or should we make arrangements with someone else to take her when we die? No income, no way to support this child. Will she be stable enough to parent? I worry. These questions have been floating in my head and I worry.

This is where faith comes in.  Yesterday at the going away party for a dear friend, a friend in common announced that she is bi-polar. I've known this young lady for many years and never knew. She's smart. She manages her meds and has made it through college on to grad school. This gave me faith that everything really can work out. I remember acknowledging it as it occurred.

Then today, Majo, one of the beloved poets in the community, stood up and talked about being bipolar. He talked about planning a move to Mexico. Right to the point to moving, he planned and schemed. He said goodbye to dear friends and our spiritual leader. Then he realized he couldn't leave. He's in a depressive cycle today. The plan was during an manic cycle. I'm sure from his words, he feel failure that he allowed himself to be pulled into this plan for a new life in Mexico. He's crashed and is sad. His plan didn't work. But maybe, just maybe  the God's plan worked. Maybe Majo had to go through this process to be able to tell us what it's like to be an adult Bi-polar so those of us who cope with children with this disorder could see hope. He didn't crash in Mexico. He crashed here at home where his friends and support are. He made the decision to stay - a good decision, a safe decision. I worry my daughter won't make safe decisions. Majo showed us it's possible. He showed us faith. Faith that sharing hold true  messages. Faith that crazy brain disorders doesn't mean failure. Mojo made good decisions and makes good poetry  and is successful. He gave me and example of how through faith that everything really can work out. He had no idea he was speaking to me.  A message came through. So Majo, in the down times come examples to others, poetry to describe, uplift and instill faith for those of us who love you anonymously . Faith. Faith that there is a rhyme and reason. Faith that if we hold still, listen and have faith, it will work out. Thank you Majo for reminding me of faith. You were a big part of that message for me today.

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